S. Tarakesan – 05.05.1939 to 07.08.1997
This is a deeply personal post — a remembrance, for my father who died when he was just 58. He would have been 86 this year. I was just 22 years old when we lost him, and he had imparted wisdom in subtle ways that came back to nudge me much later. Here are some life lessons I learned from him that I do strive to apply in life and at work: –
– Treat everyone with respect, regardless of their profession, economic status or indeed, any other factor.
– During arguments, address the area of conflict, but don’t make personal attacks on people.
– Never give someone a benefit and then take it away. Give it only after thinking it through and considering whether you can sustain it, but in any case, never revoke the benefit. Especially true of financial benefits that make a difference to people’s lives.
– Do what is right even if no one else is doing it, and even if you have inhibitions or lack confidence to do it.
– Don’t expect to depend on anyone else, but be dependable.
– Don’t rush to judge people harshly — you’re unlikely to know all the facts nor have you been in their shoes.
– Genuine friends are hard to come by, so go the extra mile for them.
– Gifts, however small, show people you care. They reflect thought and effort.
And here is an example of how subtly he shared his wise ways:
Long ago, at a T-shirt printing stall in London, I picked a funny caption: “I am not OPINIONATED, I am just always RIGHT!” My father smiled, then gently suggested another one instead: “I’m not PERFECT, but I’m so close it SCARES me!” I got the point. 🙂
He worked hard from his teenage years — starting out as a stenographer, then rising to become someone’s personal assistant, eventually climbing the ladder both figuratively and literally. He would often board ships via rope ladders when anchored near the harbour, to meet the captain and crew. At his peak, he led a ship-owning company with a hand-picked team. He once shared with us — his wife and two daughters — that he was among the highest-paid employees in the country. It wasn’t a brag; I now understand that moment of pride far better — and I’m truly humbled.
He placed great importance on hospitality, courteous behaviour, and the highest work ethics — values I continue to be inspired by every day.
A quote from Shakespeare puts it all better than I ever could: “His life was gentle, and the elements so mixed in him that Nature might stand up and say to all the world, ‘This was a man'”
